- Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or
millionaires,
- Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it
is theirs.
- If they happen to own a 1921 jalopy,
- They look at their neighbor's new de luxe convertible like the wearer
of a 57th Street gown at a 14th Street copy.
- If their seventeen-year-old child is still in the third grade they
sneer at the graduation of the seventeen-year-old children of their
friends,
- Claiming that prodigies always come to bad ends,
- And if their roof leaks,
- It's because the shingles are antiques.
- Other people, and if doesn't matter if they are Scandinavians or
Celts,
- Think that anything is better than theirs just because it belongs to
somebody else.
- If you congratulate them when their blue-blooded Doberman pinscher
wins the obedience championship, they look at you like a martyr,
- And say that the garbage man's little Rover is really infinitely
smarter;
- And if they smoke fifteen-cent cigars they are sure somebody else gets
better cigars for a dime.
- And if they take a trip to Paris they are sure their friends who went
to Old Orchard had a better time.
- Yes, they look on their neighbor's ox and ass with covetousness and
their own ox and ass with abhorrence,
- And if they are wives they want their husband to be like Florence's
Freddie, and if they are husbands they want their wives to be like
Freddie's Florence.
- I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this
constant proud or envious to-do;
- And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are
delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.
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